Karma is a b tch
by Cedevita
Summary: After a night out with his friends, Sasuke comes home very drunk and very horny. Sasu-solo. PWP.


**AN:** dedicated to the pervert who gave me the video. xD it's yours Aki. -hearts-

_www . viddler . com/v/a8c63342 _

Also... the fic was inspired by something I read some time ago, a guy talking about his experience with a fake vagina for males.

**Warning:** could-be-distubing-masturbation-with-a-sex-toy

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><p><span>Karma is a bitch<span>

He didn't really remember how he'd gotten it or who had bought it, but it was there! That weirdly realistic-looking egg. 'Tenga egg' the name said. Tenga, what kind of name was Tenga? It sounded like some cheap porno actress from Asia. You know, that would that would just moan and groan and do all kind of fake sounds and everyone would know she was faking it but the guy behind her would still do her.

Nevertheless, Sasuke still had a _Tenga_ egg in his hands, and he was still thinking about what to do with it. He could easily throw it away and forget he ever touched it. He could... it didn't mean he would. There was a difference between can and will, will and can...

What he should have done was... what would you have done? I think it depends on the person. No one can tell you what to do with something as awesome as Tenga egg.

Sasuke sat on his bed, the Tenga egg lying innocently on the covers next to him.

Oh, to hell with all, his curiosity was stronger than his common sense—the amount of alcohol consumed that night probably did the trick as well. If he didn't do it, the idea would plague his mind until he actually did it. So it was better if he did it now. It was for the greater good. A noble goal.

He got the little box where the egg was probably placed. He opened it and found a little paper with instructions. He'd need that. God knew he didn't know how to otherwise use it.

He unfolded the paper and started to search for the UK/ENG instructions. When he located the little part of text, he began to read.

"The Tenga egg is very easy to use."

He was glad for that cause in his current state he wasn't sure he'd understand what the paper was trying to tell him.

"Peal the wrapper..."

Wrapper, wrapper... where was the egg again? Oh yeah, the egg. He tried to find that spot the manufactures made to make the pealing and opening things easier. He found it and peeled off the little thin crust-like paper material.

"Open the shell and inside is the egg."

How was he supposed to open it? It was so smooth.

"Oh, here it is..." He found the place where two parts of the eggs met each other. He unscrewed the cap and inside was the egg. It was like jelly or that slimy thing kids used to play with. It was soft and squishy. "Weird." He commented. He laughed, he couldn't believe someone actually thought of it. The inventor must have been a real pervert.

"Remove the lubricant pouch, open it and pour the lubricant into the egg."

Okay, that was the easy part really. All he had to do was remove the little plastic pocket and take the lubricant from it. He opened the little lubricant bag and poured the lubricant into the hole left in the egg.

"Apply the lubricant around the entry as well for the smooth insertion."

"Oh, great. They could have told me that sooner." He rolled his eyes at the stupid instructions. He pushed his finger inside the egg and took some lubricant from inside it. He smeared the lubricant around the entry. When he thought his work was done, he returned to the instructions.

"Insert your penis and move it up and down."

No, shit Sherlock. He rolled his eyes again. He was actually acting like that because with every second that passed with him preparing the egg, he was starting to become aroused by the idea even though he was also extremely embarrassed about even thinking about it. He couldn't explain it, it just happened by itself. His dick was feeling something—and now, he wanted to feel it too.

"The ultra stretchable material can handle every size."

Good to know.

He crumbled the instructions and threw them next to him on the covers. He lowered the egg to the bed as well so he could take off his clothes. He unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers. They revealed a small bump in his boxer tights. He lowered the trousers enough for him to be able to take out his dick. His pants were somewhere below his ass and his boxers as well.

He began stroking himself; slow strokes at first and then stronger as his dick began to be filled with blood.

He licked his lips. He was unable to wait any longer and he reached for the egg. "Insert my penis, eh?" He chuckled. "And insert I will."

He touched the entry with the tip of his dick, then he slid inside slowly.

"Fuck." A small moan escaped his lips.

Well, that felt better than expected.

He began stroking himself. It was like he wasn't the one who was doing it, like someone else was touching him—all that made it even better.

He was stroking faster and stronger. His grip on his dick was firm, stern like his will.

It actually felt rather good. Too good for his liking. If he continued to stroke like that he wasn't going to last any longer. But then again, what was the point of lasting long? There wasn't anyone to impress. He let go.

He closed his eyes as pleasure shoot up through his body. He continued to stroke until all the little tingles left.

The world stopped for him for a second there.

Then he took a deep breath and everything was moving again.

That was... that was... an interesting experience, he had to admit. A very good new experience too, but he was so never doing it again.

Also... he was so going to kill Naruto the next day. It was that idiot who found the egg in the sex shop and still bought it after Shikamaru said not to. He put the fucking egg right into his bag too. He only wished the blond was just as horny as he was, but he had no ways of relieving himself except for his hand—and Sasuke knew Naruto hated doing that.

Karma was a bitch.


End file.
